You guys should know me well enough by now to know that I’m probably with no exaggeration the worst worrier known to man, seriously I worry/over think every possible situation weather it be something small and superficial like weather my make up will go well for a night out or bigger life events e.g where I’ll be in five years from now.
I can always remember at school I was forever getting myself in a state because I’d say yes to a trip, a presentation or some sort of speech and then end up spending night after sleepless night talking myself out of it and saying no at the very last minute. Teachers and people at school used to get so mad at me because at times it came across like I was just being a let down or trying to be difficult when really it was all just down to me being so nervous and worried that I’d mess up.
I always hate feeling like I’ve let myself and others down so this was like a vicious circle for me, on one hand I couldn’t go through with things as I’d make myself sick with worry but on the other hand missing out on valuable experiences while letting others down made me just as sick. One experience that always still to this day sticks in my head is when I was about 16 I got offered the opportunity to go to Canada for two weeks to represent my school in a schools council forum, I know it sounds crazy who else would turn down the chance to go to Canada with everything paid for right? but at time the time I hated being away from home and I’d told myself I wasn’t good enough to go.
I’d love to say that as I got older and left school it got better but sadly it never, I’ve lost count of the amount of amazing experiences and things that could’ve furthered my dreams I’ve said no to or missed out on all because I was too scared to pursue them. It’s only in the last year though that I’m honestly beginning to realise that if I keep letting fear and anxiety control me then I might miss out on some of the most amazing days and times of my life, I’d absolutely love to travel more and I kick myself everyday that I didn’t take the chance to visit Canada which is the main reason I’m writing this post.I don’t want you guys too look back on your life at missed opportunities with regret because yes life can be scary and we all have fears but we should never let them fears control our lives and how amazing they can be! so from now on I’m going to go out there (even if I am filled with anxiety) and grab life with both hands and you guys should too because life is for living! ❤