Motivational Monday – Never be ashamed of your story!

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Every single one of us has a story, a past and have been through tough times at one time or another. Everyone has a different story to share in life weather it be of their achievements or their struggles, some find that story easier to share than others.

Anyone who knows me will tell you that I’ve always been a closed book, I very rarely share how I feel, I’ve never been one to discuss my past and I don’t big up my achievements! It’s funny because I’ve always looked at other people around me who have been through tough times and thought ‘ Wow you’re an inspiration, you should share your story’ but then looked at myself and been somewhat ashamed of myself, my past, my depression and even my disability at certain times in my life.

Earlier this month though I stumbled across this quote and was shocked when I thought back too how closed off and ashamed of my story I used to be, it’s only been since starting this blog last year and having such an amazing response that I’ve realised the girl I used to hide away and be ashamed of, is the same girl that is writing these blogs on a weekly basis and the same girl who is not only no longer hiding but is now proud too share her story.

This past year and this blog has definitely made me realise that no matter who you are or what you have been through, that you should never be ashamed of your past because not only does it make you stronger and help mould you into who you are now but it also helps and inspires others out there, who for whatever reason may be fighting the same struggles alone. So the next time you think back onto your past or your struggles please don’t ever be ashamed, look back and smile because you can use them experiences to help others out there and yourself build a positive future!

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I did it! – Race for life 2015! <3

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As you will know from my previous post a couple of weeks ago, I signed up to do Race For Life again this year on Sunday 21st June. So I thought I’d just do a quick post to update you all on how it went.

The race came around so much quicker than we had expected but me and Sarah were so excited as it’s always such a fun and emotional day. I spent Sunday morning getting ready and just taking it easy before the race then headed to Aintree race course too meet Sarah at 2pm for the big warm. When we arrived as always the atmosphere was amazing, seeing everyone united for such an amazing cause is always such a special feeling!

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As you will know from the previous post I had planned to complete this years race in my chair but in the days leading up to my leg hadn’t been bad so I said I would try my best to at least walk some of the 5K. So I still took my chair with me and headed to the start line under the strict instruction to use my chair if I felt tired but anyone who knows me will tell you that I’m very stubborn and don’t particularly like using my chair unless I’m desperate need. So I ended up walking the whole 5K with just a couple of ‘sit downs’, obviously it took me longer than last years because I was in quite a bit of pain near the end but I was beyond proud that I still managed to complete it all without using my chair. We completed the race in 1 hour 36 minutes and I raised an amazing £190, I can’t think everyone enough for their incredible support and hope that one together we will find a cure for al cancers!

Motivational Monday – You don’t need a relationship too be happy!

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I don’t know about you guys but I’ve noticed lately how much of a rush people seem to be in when it comes to getting into a relationship and finding their ‘one’, it’s like they’ve become more obsessed with just being able to say they have a boyfriend/girlfriend than actually taking the time to find someone that they actually care for or are compatible with.

I’m not at all slating people who do this because I can completely understand why  people do it, I have been one of them people you’re down/lonely and everyone around you seems to all loved up and happy, so you go off in search of that same type of happiness. I’m not saying that relationships and love don’t make us happy because I’ve had some amazing times in relationships but over the last few years though I’ve definitely realised that although being in a relationship can be a huge source of happiness, you should never enter into a relationship just because you think it will fix all that’s wrong in your life or because you feel like being in a relationship is something that ‘everyone is doing’.

I stumbled across the quote ‘Don’t be a queen waiting for a king, be a queen busy with her empire until her king arrives’ and it really made me smile the older I get the more I realise that loving myself and being happy with myself is so much more important than trying to find a man too make me happy. The truth is the best relationships are the ones that aren’t forced or rushed, they happen when you’re both happy in your own lives and can share that happiness together.

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Race For Life 2015!

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If you guys have been here from the start then you will know I walked Race For Life for the first time last year, I absolutely loved the whole experience and atmosphere so much that I promised myself that I would definitely be doing it again this year.

I kept too my word and signed up for this years race about a month ago and was determined to walk it in a quicker time than last year even if it was just by a few minutes then that would be an achievement I was proud of. I’d been training really hard on the treadmill and my time was getting closer to beating last years.

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Sadly though over the last few weeks with all the walking and my recent fall my hip dysplasia has decided to rear it’s ugly head and come back worse than ever, too the point that I can no longer bear weight on my left leg, which too my disappointment now means I won’t be able to walk this years race but I will be still be taking part and completing the race in my chair. Everyone keeps telling me that it’s not how I complete the race that matters but just being a part of the whole experience and raising money for such an amazing cause but there is still apart of me that wishes I was walking the race again this year.

So although like I said a little part of me is disappointed that I can’t walk it, I am still really excited about being part of Race For life again and raising money for such a worthy cause.Good luck and a huge well done too anyone else taking part in this years race and If any of you guys would like to sponsor me then I would be incredibly grateful! I shall leave the link to my JustGiving page down below.

http://t.co/wU7gjEXFJ9

Motivational Monday – FEAR Isn’t real!

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 It doesn’t matter who you are, where you’re from or what you have,  sadly fear is something no one gets away from. So weather you are a 70 year old man who has experienced almost everything in life or a young child just starting out in life, we all fear something.

Fear comes in all shapes and sizes ranging from the smaller more rational fears e.g starting a new job or meeting new people or if you’re like me you may have more unusual fears.  One of my fears is water and it’s something I’ve been scared of since I was younger,  I’m not scared of water as in out of the tap but more the sea or a river type of water.

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I’m the type of person who seems to be stupidly scared of a lot of things e.g creepy crawlies, meeting new people or the unknown, you name it and I’m in some way scared of it but earlier this week I stumbled across the above quotes and they made a lot of sense and made something click with me.

I’m not sitting here now thinking that after reading these quotes we’ll all no longer have fears because we will probably always fear certain things but the next time you feel scared or fearful of something just ask yourself ‘is this False Evidence Appearing Real?’

Birmingham proved there are still selfless people around!

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So before I talk about why the people of Birmingham were so selfless and lovely, I guess I need to explain why I needed so much help, as many of you will know I have hip dysplasia in my left hip which pretty much always causes me pain but about 3 weeks ago I fell onto my left hip and since then my walking and the pain has deteriorated. I’d booked to go to Birmingham for bank holiday weekend with my best friend weeks before my fall and anyone who knows me will tell you I don’t like accepting that I’m struggling so although I could hardly walk off I went for my weekend away.

Me & Sarah are the type of people that when we’re together things never seem to run smoothly and this was no exception due to work on the line we couldn’t get a direct train to Birmingham which meant we had to change at Nuneaton and work 35 minutes for our next train, so after being on my feet and trying to lug my case (never pack light) I knew my leg probably wasn’t going to hold out the weekend before we even got to our hotel. We’d booked to see Dirty Dancing Live on the Friday once we got there which was amazing yet again I must say and I’d highly recommend any Dirty Dancing fans too go and see it, after Dirty Dancing Birmingham city was packed due to it being Bank holiday and Pride weekend so we jumped a taxi to get some food which was when I saw how amazingly kind some people can be, as we stopped the taxi because of my leg the driver could see I was struggling and instead of just watching me struggle like many have in the past, this lovely man jumped out of his cab to help lift me into the taxi, which may not seem like much but too me meant an awful lot!

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After a good nights sleep and painkillers we headed for a day of shopping but after spending two hours in a packed Primark with people pushing there way through crowds, my leg had other ideas and I just fell down in tears in the middle of town, I was an emotional wreck when one of the loveliest things happened, a young girl came out of a shop and asked if I wanted to come in and rest, she invited us both in and got me a chair too sit down. After the taxi drivers help and the woman randomly offering me a seat I was already in love with how selfless the people of Birmingham had been but it didn’t stop there, we headed off to find shop-mobility so that I could rent a wheelchair and enjoy the rest of the shopping trip, it was over the other side of the shopping centre so Sarah went in the hunt of a wheelchair for me unfortunately when she got there Sarah was told they couldn’t give her a wheelchair without me being there but once she explained the situation the women was kind enough to bring the wheelchair too me. So after our day of shopping we headed back too our hotel before getting ready and heading back out for a few drinks in Birmingham and headed back to sleep before we had to head home early the next day.

The following day we woke up early and headed for breakfast by this point having been on my feet all weekend my leg was worse than ever, I could just about walk so that mixed with carrying shopping bags and cases didn’t make for the best situation. By the time we got to the station I was really struggling which meant poor Sarah was left carrying all our bags and I was just about managing to walk but yet again luckily for us the people of Birmingham showed true selflessness and a lovely man came and carried our bags while Sarah helped me walk. Once we got inside the station the man who carried our bags told us to wait there and said he would be right back, we were slightly confused but waited there as he’d said then less than 5 minutes later  the man came back with another man and a wheelchair. I was so grateful by the fact that although I hadn’t requested assistants before travelling, the man had seen me struggling and got me help.  After I’d say thank you a million times this lovely man took me, Sarah and all our bags straight to the platform and then helped me along with everything else onto the train and assured us that there would be help waiting for us at the other end in Liverpool.

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Sadly we live in a world where people being genuinely nice comes as more of a shock to us then people who are hurtful or selfish but just a short stay in Birmingham really did restore my faith and show me the world definitely does still have some wonderful, selfless and caring people in it!

Motivational Monday – FEAR isn’t real!

fear isnt real

 It doesn’t matter who you are, where you’re from or what you have,  sadly fear is something no one gets away from. So weather you are a 70 year old man who has experienced almost everything in life or a young child just starting out in life, we all fear something.

Fear comes in all shapes and sizes ranging from the smaller more rational fears e.g starting a new job or meeting new people or if you’re like me you may have more unusual fears.  One of my fears is water and it’s something I’ve been scared of since I was younger,  I’m not scared of water as in out of the tap but more the sea or a river type of water.

will smith quote

I’m the type of person who seems to be stupidly scared of a lot of things e.g creepy crawlies, meeting new people or the unknown, you name it and I’m in some way scared of it but earlier this week I stumbled across the above quotes and they made a lot of sense and made something click with me.

I’m not sitting here now thinking that after reading these quotes we’ll all no longer have fears because we will probably always fear certain things but the next time you feel scared or fearful of something just ask yourself ‘is this False Evidence Appearing Real?’

Motivational Monday – Don’t take others opinions personally!

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Firstly I’d just like to thank you all such much for your lovely, heartfelt comments, through my tough times they mean’t the world too me and really showed me how much blogging has brought so many wonderful people into my life.

I’m feeling much more positive and thought that this would be the perfect time to share this positivity with you guys and hopefully start your week off on a good footing, with my first Motivational Monday in a while.

The older I get and the more things I experience the more life lessons I learn, so when I saw this quote I couldn’t help but write a post about it. In a world where people will always have something too say regardless of how kind, well mannered or happy you try to be, it’s hard not to take on others opinions of you and let them drag you down.

I can definitely hand on heart say that the more people judge me, the more I’m starting to realise that their opinions or judgements of me really are nothing to do with me at all but more a reflection of them and how they feel about themselves.

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I’m the type of person who maybe naively likes to believe that everybody is a good person deep down which is why I honestly do believe that if a person is trying to be hurtful or cruel towards you then it is definitely more to do with their own personal struggles or how they perceive themselves than it is too do with you or your abilities.

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I’m missing my little blogging family!

Hey guys I know it’s been a while so first of all I’m really sorry but hopefully this post will let you guys know what’s been going on & then I can start getting back into the swing with my blogging.

For anyone who’s followed this blog from day one will know that I’ve been struggling from depression/anxiety since I was about 15 and have been on every imaginable anti depressant since then, with little or too no effect. In fact the only effect they did have was hair loss which for any girl is awful, so after months of debating I decided it may be best for me to cut them down then eventually get off them all together.

So about 4 weeks ago I started to cut them down to one every other day which seemed fine and thankfully I didn’t have any of the horrible side effects that I’ve heard so many people talk about. Anyone who knows me will tell you I’m really inpatient though so because I wasn’t feeling anything negative I stupidly decided to stop taking them all together and I’m not going to lie it’s definitely one of the stupidest things I’ve ever done..So please guys DO NOT do it like I did!

It’s been a 7 days of no Sertraline today & I’ve honestly never experienced anything like it, you name it and I’ve been through it this last week both mentally and physically it’s been the most surreal week of my life, physically I’ve had major hot flushes, dizziness, headaches, tiredness, vomiting and mentally my minds just been everywhere, not so much down/depressed just not on this planet.

I’m really not sure when I’ll be back guys but hopefully it wont be too long and I hope you guys understand why I’ve been neglecting the blog and stick around for my next set of posts. Missing you guys & thank you for all your support! xx

Loneliness & disability

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I stumbled across an article earlier this week that really shocked & saddened me, it was an article on BBC ouch that was titled ‘Why are a quarter of disabled people  are lonely’ this report was made up of survey results from disabled people 23% said that they feel lonely and isolated on a daily basis so why is this and why isn’t more being done to change it?

Reading articles like this one really get to me as it makes me realise that the way I felt growing up was perfectly normal sadly,  loneliness is one of the hardest feelings I think there is to deal with and while it is something that everybody deals with. I do think  a lot of research is put into helping older people who may struggle from loneliness due to no longer working or loosing friends due to age but not much seems to be put in place for young disabled people who can’t socialise, I do think it can be harder if you have some sort of disability or something that may make you feel different to your peers, as it may be harder for you to gain friends in the first place. I know for me it was struggling to do what other children found easy that made it harder for me to socialise comfortably because I always felt somewhat less than my peers. Even at the age of 25 I still struggle to socialise in certain situations due to poor access into certain places or just basically my awful shyness and I genuinely think that more needs to be done to help young disabled people to overcome these barriers and make lasting friendships.

This article highlights a number of reasons why people with disabilities find it really hard to make and maintain friendships e.g poor access, lack of money or low self esteem which are all perfectly understandable reasons to me as someone who has a disability myself but one of the most shocking facts this article brought to light was that a huge 67% of the British public admit to avoiding communicating with disabled people as they feel uncomfortable or just don’t know what to say which makes this another huge factor as too why people with disabilities struggle to make lasting friendships with their none disabled peers. I strongly believe that everybody should have at least one friend in life regardless of their abilities so more needs to be done to help people get out there and make connections, so my dream is to set up some sort of workshops to help people out with their social skills and hopefully give them a safe environment for them to make forever friendships.

So what are your guys thoughts on loneliness disabled or not, is it something you have struggled with or still do? If so what do you find helpful?