Sitting here staring at the screen not really knowing where to start or what to say but kind of feeling like I should start with I’m sorry, sorry for going M.I.A for what feels like forever, it’s been a while to say the least hasn’t it guys?
How is everyone?, What’s new? What’s been happening? I can’t actually believe it’s been over 3 years since I last published a post, where does the time go? I’ve missed you guys and this lovely little community so much, I’ve sat here numerous times and tried to write a post but I always ended up deleting it. I kind of feel like I should explain myself and say why I’ve been missing for so long but truth is I don’t really know where to start and so much to say so I’m going to do a specific post on that later on this week.
So anyway you lovely bunch this is just a quick post to say Hi, hey, hello and wanted to let you lot know that I’m hopefully back for good with lots of good disability, mental health and lifestyle posts coming up. Please let me know how you guys have been in the comments below, it’d be amazing to have a catch up! 🙂
Thanks for your support always lovelies! x
If you guys follow me on my social media platforms then you’ll know that last week and in fact this year so far has been the best of my life, I’ve not only learned so much about myself but also a lot about other people and the world around me. I’ve been incredibly blessed to have had so many amazing opportunities already in 2016, that are getting me ever so closer to my dreams of making a difference in this world.
One thing that has shone through since this whole experience started and has been lovely to hear from a personal point of view, is the huge amount of people saying how confident I am.Now for me and my family that is such a crazy thing to hear because anybody who knows me well, will tell you how confidence is something I’ve struggled with my whole life. Confidence or lack of it played a massive part in my life growing up from school to my home life, my lack of confidence influenced it all. I was always convinced that confidence must be something you’re either born with or you aren’t. My parents always used to say ‘Just keep believing and it’ll improve’ but it always seemed like no matter how much I tried to ‘act’ confident I’d end up being a nervous wreck and have to leave whatever I was doing, it honestly became so bad and really began to affect my social life, at one point I just didn’t leave the house for weeks at a time for fear of someone talking too me.
Over time though my confidence has definitely improved so much so in fact that this week I did a live interview on my local ITV News, talking about my Fixers film. If someone would’ve said to my 15 year old self that I’d be giving an interview on Tv then I would’ve never believed them but I’ve been trying hard lately to step out of my comfort zone and do more things that scare me, in order to increase my confidence. I found a quote today that I think summed up confidence perfectly ‘Confidence is like a muscle : The more you use it, The stronger it gets!’
That’s why I’m writing this post for all the people out there who like me do or have struggled with confidence, I know at times it feels like it won’t improve but I want to give you all hope and let you know that none of us are born with bags of confidence I’m sure even big stars like Beyonce have or still do suffer with confidence issues but one thing I’ve honestly learned is that it can and will get better. Just keep trying, keep stepping out of your comfort zone, pushing yourself and you’ll soon see a confidence shine through in you that you never thought possible..YOU are capable of amazing things, just believe in yourself! ❤
You guys should know me well enough by now to know that I’m probably with no exaggeration the worst worrier known to man, seriously I worry/over think every possible situation weather it be something small and superficial like weather my make up will go well for a night out or bigger life events e.g where I’ll be in five years from now.
I can always remember at school I was forever getting myself in a state because I’d say yes to a trip, a presentation or some sort of speech and then end up spending night after sleepless night talking myself out of it and saying no at the very last minute. Teachers and people at school used to get so mad at me because at times it came across like I was just being a let down or trying to be difficult when really it was all just down to me being so nervous and worried that I’d mess up.
I always hate feeling like I’ve let myself and others down so this was like a vicious circle for me, on one hand I couldn’t go through with things as I’d make myself sick with worry but on the other hand missing out on valuable experiences while letting others down made me just as sick. One experience that always still to this day sticks in my head is when I was about 16 I got offered the opportunity to go to Canada for two weeks to represent my school in a schools council forum, I know it sounds crazy who else would turn down the chance to go to Canada with everything paid for right? but at time the time I hated being away from home and I’d told myself I wasn’t good enough to go.
I’d love to say that as I got older and left school it got better but sadly it never, I’ve lost count of the amount of amazing experiences and things that could’ve furthered my dreams I’ve said no to or missed out on all because I was too scared to pursue them. It’s only in the last year though that I’m honestly beginning to realise that if I keep letting fear and anxiety control me then I might miss out on some of the most amazing days and times of my life, I’d absolutely love to travel more and I kick myself everyday that I didn’t take the chance to visit Canada which is the main reason I’m writing this post.I don’t want you guys too look back on your life at missed opportunities with regret because yes life can be scary and we all have fears but we should never let them fears control our lives and how amazing they can be! so from now on I’m going to go out there (even if I am filled with anxiety) and grab life with both hands and you guys should too because life is for living! ❤
The title of this post is probably slightly misleading as it says positivity only, I don’t realistically for one minute think that any of us can go through life and be 100% sunshine and rainbows. We live in such a face paced world nowadays that it’s so easy to get dragged down by the daily grind of things, weather that be smaller issues like having a bad hair/make up day, getting up late or bigger things e.g work, bills or family struggles having a bad day from time to time is inevitable.
The truth is though that no matter how many struggles life throws at us and how hard it gets, only you are in control of your own happiness. Everyday when we wake up we have a choice weather to see the positives or focus on our problems and be negative, there is a quote that I love and it goes ‘Positive mind, Positive vibes, Positive life!’. Both good or bad vibes are infectious and I don’t know about you guys but I’d rather radiate and spread love and good vibes than be a negative person.
You guys will know from previous posts that I have suffered from depression for a huge part of my life so I completely understand that it’s not always easy but recently I’ve been trying to live by this quote. There are so many beautiful in this world that we so often overlook weather that be how beautiful the sunset is, how cute your baby niece/nephew are when they smile or how pretty the scenery around us is . I’ve truly began to realise now that you can’t live a positive and happy life if you keep being focused on the negatives or surround yourself with negative people. So if you have people around you who thrive off negativity you should lose them, if you see something you don’t like online just keep scrolling and when you wake up every morning promise yourself that you will try to see the beautiful positivity in that day.
You’re all beautiful, special and talented people who deserve the most positive, happy and amazing life so go out and spread that positivity wherever possible because life is too short to be negative or hurtful.
Well firstly happy Monday guys and I hope you’re all having a fabulous January! How fast is this first month of 2016 going? The quote that today’s Motivational Monday post is based on is one I’ve seen a million and one times and also a famous Disney quote and who doesn’t love a bit of Disney? I’ve always loved this quote but with everything that’s happened this week, I feel like my dreams a getting ever so closer so I thought not why not use this beautiful quote while inspiring you guys to believe that your dreams can become a reality too!
Everyone has someone they look up too and admire weather that be a celebrity, a family member, an artist or even a friend. We fail to remember sometimes though that these really inspirational or famous people that we look up to so much, were once just sat at home one day just like you dreaming/thinking about everything they now have. This quote ‘If you can dream it, you can do it! Always remember that this whole thing was started with a dream and a mouse‘ is a prime example written by one of the most well known people in the world who once had nothing but a dream, Mr Walt Disney!
I don’t think i’ve ever know anyone who doesn’t know all about Walt Disney and how successful it is around the world but once Walter was just like you, sitting at home just like you are now with all his dreams of writing/making cartoons spinning around in his head, hoping one day to make a name for himself. So who says you can’t be the next Walt Disney? Ok so maybe you don’t want to write cartoons but who says you can’t be a writer, an actress, a teacher or a model?
The truth is that no matter who you are, nothing and nobody can stop you from working hard and achieving every single dream. YOU can achieve and become everything you ever thought possible! So the next time you’re sat there daydreaming just remember it is possible because if YOU can dream it, YOU can do it!
Hey guys, you’ll know from previous posts and if you follow me on other social media platforms that I absolutely love a quote! I’m all about positivity and try to motive people whenever I can so with that being said I’ve decided that I’m going to start my ‘Motivational Monday’ posts again.
So my first Motivational Monday post of this year will be one of loveliest quotes I read in 2015 ‘The ones who are crazy enough to think they can change the world, are the ones that do!’ I found this quote on one of the most positive days I’ve had in ages (I’ll explain more in my next post) this quote really made me smile! Growing up whenever I was asked what I wanted to do my answer would be ‘I just want to help people’. I know that to some people this probably sounds cheesy but it’s something that I truly mean’t. I’m the type of person that no matter what I’ve always said money and materialistic things wouldn’t make me happy but if I could look back at my life at the age of 80 and say I made even a small difference to the world then I’d be truly happy.
I can’t lie and say I’ve always been a super positive person because I definitely haven’t, when I was younger and people would laugh when I’d say “I want to change the world” I began to believe that they were right because I mean how could little me change the world? The older I get though the more I’m beginning to realise that everything happens for a reason and even the hardest of situations/life struggles can be turned into positives, which is a huge part of the reason why I started this blog. I wanted to turn my journey with Cerebral Palsy and depression into a positive by helping others and inspiring them to go out and chase their dreams whatever they might face in life.
Over the last few years since starting seemenotcp and speaking with lots of other amazing people in the blogging community I’ve realised that my once crazy thought of changing the world and changing lives can become a reality, not only for me but for you guys too!
So guys please believe me when I say no matter who you are or what life struggles you’ve faced. YOU can make a difference and YOU can change the world! Don’t let anybody ever make you feel like you can’t achieve incredible things in life! ❤
This week is the first time in what feels like forever that I’ve been on wordpress and the first time since August that I’ve written a blog post which is absolute madness! firstly I want to say sorry for not being around, I’ve missed you guys but also thank you all for still continuing to support my blog even when I’m not blogging as regularly as I would like.
As much as I know you guys are brilliant and won’t expect me to explain myself part of me still feels I should at least try to explain why I haven’t been around for so long, So here goes if you remember in my last post I explained that I’d just recently stopped taking my anti depressants and was finding it a lot more of a struggle than I thought it would be.
Well since my last post in August I’ve still not taken any medication which for me is a massive achievement and something that I’m really proud of, if someone would of told me a few years ago that now I’d be still here, feeling strong and without medication then I probably would’ve laughed at them. I won’t lie and say that every day since August has been all happy because it definitely hasn’t and I’ve had plenty of ups and downs both physically and emotionally which is why I haven’t been around.
When I first started Seemenotcp I promised not only myself but you guys that I would only blog when I felt my content was worth posting and when I felt happy and positive about what I was posting, while I was having a rough time I decided that blogging had to take a back seat and getting myself happy, healthy and things back on track was more important. So off I went and during that time I’ve still had bad days but I’ve also had some really positive and exciting opportunities come my way! (I’ll explain more in another post) the more time that passes the more I realise that I am stronger than I think which is a great feeling!
I’m so happy to be back with my blogging family and hope you guys are all well! x
If you guys have read previous posts or followed my journey from the beginning then you’ll know I’ve been on anti depressants for quite a big part of my life with not much effect. So at the end of April beginning of May and after a really settled few months, I made a huge but also very stupid decision to just stop my medication and try to manage my depression alone. So this post will just be a quick update post to let you guys know how I’ve been finding these last few months.
You’ll know if you read my first post after a week off my Sertraline, that this was one of the hardest and most painful weeks of my life both mentally and physically, I was ill, anxious, upset, tired, restless and everything in between, if I’m honest there were so many times in that first week that I thought of taking my own life, I couldn’t believe that I had been on these tablets for years and they seemed to have no effect so how could coming off them be having such a massive effect on me? I was so genuinely scared that I would never feel ‘normal’ again and I won’t lie it wasn’t just the first week that was awful, it actually took me nearly two months to start feeling somewhat human and healthy.
Almost 3 months on and am I 100% back to feeling ‘normal’? No I’m not but it’s funny really because I always try to be such a positive person and in my head I had this amazing vision that I’d come off my medication, it’d be really easy and I’d be happier than I’ve ever been.The truth is though early August will mark 3 months of no anti depressants and I’m not in that amazing place, it’s probably been one the lowest and hardest times of my life with so many mood swings it’s unreal, I still have days when I ask myself if going back to my medication would make it all go back to how it was, you know that numb, surreal feeling you have on anti depressants? Now though as I’ve been writing this post and thinking back to my life with medication and my life without it I’ve started too realise that although I’ve struggled and it’s hit me hard, that coming off my medication was a change for the better and sticking it out will only be for the best!
So guys just to end this post I want to apologise if this was a little bit of a negative post but I always promised I’d just be honest no matter what, have you guys recently come off or are thinking about coming off your medication? let me know I’d like to share experiences and thoughts with you all.
We live in such a fast paced world it’s no surprise that we all seem to be constantly busy with one thing or another, so many deadlines, meetings to attend or chores to get done that all mean it’s so easy to get caught up in what we need to next week, next month or even next year that we forget about what is happening in the here and now.
I’ll have to admit though as I’m writing this post I’m realising that I’m actually one of the worst people ever for doing this. I get so caught up in fretting over the past or worrying about what the future has in store for me, that I forget with each moment spent with pointless, irrational worries I am losing precious moments in life that are happening right now.
It’s funny though because the older I get the more I realise that tomorrow isn’t promised, so what am I really worrying about? Surely if tomorrow never came the mistakes I’ve made in the past or what i’ll be doing in 10 years would not even be entering my head. The things/people that are making me smile or laugh right now would be the memories I’d want to grab hold of. I’m not at all saying that we should all go off now and never have another worry about the past or even our futures but I know that from now on, I will make more of an effort to stop, look, listen and take in all the beautiful things that are happening right here in front of me!
Please guys cherish the precious moments and live right here in the NOW!
Every single one of us has a story, a past and have been through tough times at one time or another. Everyone has a different story to share in life weather it be of their achievements or their struggles, some find that story easier to share than others.
Anyone who knows me will tell you that I’ve always been a closed book, I very rarely share how I feel, I’ve never been one to discuss my past and I don’t big up my achievements! It’s funny because I’ve always looked at other people around me who have been through tough times and thought ‘ Wow you’re an inspiration, you should share your story’ but then looked at myself and been somewhat ashamed of myself, my past, my depression and even my disability at certain times in my life.
Earlier this month though I stumbled across this quote and was shocked when I thought back too how closed off and ashamed of my story I used to be, it’s only been since starting this blog last year and having such an amazing response that I’ve realised the girl I used to hide away and be ashamed of, is the same girl that is writing these blogs on a weekly basis and the same girl who is not only no longer hiding but is now proud too share her story.
This past year and this blog has definitely made me realise that no matter who you are or what you have been through, that you should never be ashamed of your past because not only does it make you stronger and help mould you into who you are now but it also helps and inspires others out there, who for whatever reason may be fighting the same struggles alone. So the next time you think back onto your past or your struggles please don’t ever be ashamed, look back and smile because you can use them experiences to help others out there and yourself build a positive future!